…that I’d be changed forever.

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.

I was sorting out old photos of myself when I was still single and although I look more or less the same with long hair and darker skin tone I feel like a totally different person.

The day after I had Joshua, the fact that I was already a mom has not really sunk in yet. It was like there’s me Van & there’s someone else – a mom; except that’s still me. Confusing?

After some time those two entities merged & it became a different person. Mommy Van. Nobody prepared me for that mind altering fact. I’ve become a new person. A new outlook in life, a different mind-set and set new priorities. It feels as if my heart is outside of my body and every move my baby makes is a milestone. When I decide, I always think of the baby’s welfare first before my own.

Any mother would agree.

******************

Now, everybody is telling me to STOP breastfeeding my 23-month old son. I want to really, but he kisses me & says a-poo (love you) when he wants to be nursed. Tell me, can you say no to that?