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Not just Ozzy’s mom

December 13, 2007

While trying to organize my photos, I chanced upon my old photographs taken just before I had Ozzy.  I was a party girl. I was out almost every weekend. I was with friends most of the time. I was selfish and self-absorbed. I had fun. I drank. I came home late.  

I was not a bad girl really. I would always ask permission and tell mom where I am, who I’m with and what I’m doing. I was just a typical 20-something with nothing else much better to do. 

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This is what I looked like before, this was taken after our graduation ball.

ball 2005

We were dancing and drinking to celebrate our new found freedom. 

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And this is how I look like now.

yova bday

A mommy to a spunky 17-month old boy and a wife.  Notice anything different? Maybe to the outside, there’s nothing different. But I am a different person. The best compliment I’ve gotten post-pregnancy are something like, I don’t look like I have a kid, or my son looks like my brother lang or nephew and not actually my own son. 

Some may not view it as a compliment, but I do. There is more to me than just Ozzy’s mom. Right now, I’m in a stage where I’m trying to be the best mom I can be while still keeping true to myself. But it’s really hard because family always comes first. 

I don’t want to be 40-something and looking back, not knowing myself as me because I am too preoccupied with being a mother & a wife. I’ve been thinking about this because I have not had a decent day/night out. You may think it’s selfish, but mothers do need a break sometimes.  

The thing is, I get so guilty when I go out that I always limit my laag. I always come home early. I have always been laagan, never a homebody and now I am forced to. (See, I feel guilty even saying that). I miss going out for coffee, going dancing, going to karaoke bars, going to fiesta’s, watching movies, going on a date, eating out or just plain hanging out with friends. Don’t get me wrong I DO go out but its on rare occasions.  

I love my son to pieces, and I will do anything for him but since he was born, it’s always me who is with him and since I breastfeed (until now) he’s a somewhat clingy boy. A mama’s boy. I never nap…I never ‘just relax’. There’s always something to do, someone to take care of. Am I being selfish??? Slap me if I am. 

…I now know what my Christmas wish is, one whole day in the Spa. Hmmm..I wish. 

♥Vanessa♥

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One Comment leave one →
  1. January 21, 2008 3:32 pm

    wow party girl nga! hehe. i feel the same way.. i feel like my life has changed so much since having a kid. to others we may not change so much on the outside, pero hindi lang nila alam, we can kill for our kids if we want to! hahaha. so mukha ngang we have much in common 🙂

    hehehe hi ris!! oo nga..♥ ms party girl ka din pla noon?

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