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Joke Time

December 20, 2007

Are you in for a good laugh?? Then read on.

Best of the Best Beauty Pageant Boo Boos
Host                             :           Saan ang dream vacation mo?
Girl Contestant :        :   Amangpulo.  

Host                             :           What was the very first gift that you gave to your girlfriend?
Male Contestant           :           Uhmm…taptoy.
Host                             :           What taptoy?
Male Contestant           :           Taptoy na teddy bird.

Host                             :           What’s your ideal age for marriage?
Girl                               :           Uhm, uhm, I am not sure….
Host                             :           Hindi, kunwari ikaw, more or less.
Girl                               :           Uhmm… more.  (Crowd booing… ) Sige, Sige. Less, less….

Host                             :           If you had a foreigner friend, where will you bring him to showcase the beauty of the Philippines?
Girl Contestant :           Bocaue.
Host                             :           Bocaue.  Why Bocaue?  There are so many places in the Philippines?  Why Bocaue?
Girl                               :           Because it’s a magnificent place.
Host                             :           Which part of Bocaue?
Girl                               :           The Bocaue Rice Terraces. (Banawe Kaya Yon!!)

T he contestant, presenting herself, talks into the mic and says, “Hi! I’m Cristine Reyes from Bagiuo…,” and then she turns around, walks a little, goes back then yells at the top of her lungs!  Then shouts, “CITYYYYYYYY!!!!”  

(From Little Miss Philippines)
Host                             :           Anong gusto mo pag-laki mo?
Girl                               :           Maging lalaki po!

Host                             :           Who’s your favorite author?
Contestant                    :           Danielle Steele
Host                             :           Why Danielle Steele?
Contestant                    :           Because, because…Danielle Steele, I like best.

Host                             :           How would you like me to address you?
Contestant                    :           My address is Project 8, Quezon City.

Host                             :           What is your best feature?
Contestant                    :           My graduation feature.

Host                             :           So tell us, why did join this contest?
Contestant                    :           Me, join this contest, why did I.  Thank you!

Host                             :           What do you want to be after you graduate?
Contestant                    :           I want to be a successful Medicine.

Host                             :           Hindi ito boob, hindi ito tube.  Pero tinatawag itong boobtube.  Ano ito?
Contestant                    :           BRA!

Host                             :           What is you favorite motto?
Contestant                    :           If others can’t why, why can’t I!

Host                             :           What would you like to say to foreigners?
Contestant                    :           Please come back.

(From gay beauty contest)
Host                             :           What is the one thing that symbolizes happiness for you?
Gay contestant              :           (Stops, thinks and then smiles.)  EGGPLANT PO!

Host                             :           What is your typical day?
Contestant                    :           I think Saturday po!

(From gay contest)
Host                             :           Ano ang advantage mo sa ibang contestant?
Gay Contestant             :           I think and believe na bilang isang bading……ano nga po ulit yung question?

Host                             :           Which part of your body is your best asset?
Contestant                    :           (Believe it or not she answered)  Si Melanie Marquez po!

Host                             :           What is your favorite motto?
Contestant                    :           (After a long pause)  I don’t have a motto eh.  (So the crowd starts helping  her out.  The crowd starts saying “Time is gold! Time is gold!”)
Contestant                    :           I have na po.  Chinese gold!

Host                             :           If you were to describe the color blue to a blind person, how would you do it?”
Contestant                    :           That’s a very good question.  Keep it up.  (Then the girl turns and walks away.)

Host                             :           So, you’re vegetarian, what is your favorite vegetable?
Contestant                    :           I like potatoes, tomatoes, beans and what’s that?  KALABASH?

Host                             :           What is your motto?
Contestant                    :           Actor!  (Everyone starts laughing.)  Aay, actress pala.

Host                             :           Who is your favorite fictional character?
Girl                               :           JOSE RIZAL! (Crowd starts laughing.)
Host                             :           Who is your favorite hero then?
Girl                               :           Hulk Hogan.

Host                             :           If you were to become a superhero, what would your power be?
Girl Contestant                         :           Uhmm… a bumble bee!

Host                             :           What is your edge over the other contestants?
Girl Contestant                         :           My edge…. 23 years old.

Host                             :           What, in your opinion, is the ideal age for marriage?
Girl                               :           Between 24 and 25!

Host                             :           How do you see yourself 10 years from now?
Girl                               :           I’ll be 28.

Host                             :           Describe your love one in three words.
Girl                               :           Kahit nga po 1 word, kaya ko.
Host                             :           OK, sige!
Girl                               :           In one word, MY LIFE!

Host                             :           If you were given any special power, what would it be?
Girl                               :           Power of Attorney!

Host                             :           So you like reading, who’s your favorite author?
Girl                               :           Uhmm, Shakespeare.
Host                             :           What works of Shakespeare?
Girl                               :           Hindi ko po alam eh.
Host                             :           But he’s your favorite.
Girl                               :           Eh kasi patay na sya eh.

Host                             :           What is  the biggest problem facing the youth today?
Girl                               :           Drugs.
Host                             :           Why?
Girl                               :           Mahal eh!

Host                             :           What is the essence of being gay?
Contestant                    :           I’m proud to be gay because what is naked is essential to the eye!

Host                             :           What makes you blush?
Girl                               :           Blush on!

Host                             :           What is the essence of a man?
Gay Contestant             :           Testicles!

Host                             :           Hey, I heard you almost didn’t make it, how did you get here?  Did you ride or did you walk?
Gay Contestant            :           Of course, did you ride.  What do you think of me, did you walk?


2 Comments leave one →
  1. January 4, 2008 12:31 pm

    this is so funny! 😆

  2. January 4, 2008 11:28 pm

    funny!!! i enjoyed reading hehehe

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