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Marriage Reality Check

February 22, 2008

A have read a very interesting article on the local magazine Good Housekeeping Jan-Feb2008 Issue.

The surprising, enlightening, and sometimes hard truths we all face after we walk down the aisle – and how they teach us about what love really means. By Ylonda Gault Caviness

8 Things no one tells you About Marriage.

1 You will look at the person lying next to you and wonder, Is this it? Forever?

Yup,I am guilty of thinking this. After the baby, the wedding & honeymoon your left with the daily routine of work-home-chores. It gets boring & monotonous. Suddenly you remember your life before marriage; parties, shopping & alone time. But digging deep; I am actually happy & fulfilled. I have found a purpose in my life right now. Something that was lacking before.

2 You’ll work harder than you never imagined.

And by work it means being patient enough to really ‘work’ to make the marriage work. As the woman I realized we have to work doubly hard because lets face it – men are pigs. I just keep my mouth shut & pick up after my hubby than nag because that will only take more energy out of me. Also, aside from the physical work (job&chores) there’s also a lot of sacrifices involved. Especially if your the woman.

3 You will sometimes go to bed mad (and maybe wake up madder).

Hahaha, correct. What’s the point of quarreling late at night when he’s clearly drunk & I’m clearly sleepy & super pissed already. Better get some rest & wait for the morning so that I can see clearly when I punch him in the face. Haha!

4 You will go without sex – sometimes for a long time – and that’s OK.

If you tell me this before baby + marriage I would have said, “How’s that possible?”. Now, I agree 100%. Sex is a lot of work. I consider it my exercise sometimes.

5 Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together.

I admit, I am a know-it-all; I want things my way & I have super super high pride. Slowly though I realized (and hubby made me realize) that I am not always right & that he has a point (sometimes!) ahaha. But anyway I’m really working hard on the pride-thingie. It’s really hard though.

6 A great marriage doesn’t mean no conflict; it simply means a couple keeps trying to get it right.

After getting married, petty fights and huge fights would come our way and that’s normal. Its even healthy. I have learned to swallow my pride at times and I know what battles to fight and when to just let things pass. Fighting is OK (just no hitting&no fighting in front of kids) because you get to discuss issues that are sometimes not acknowledged.

You’ll realize that you can only change yourself.

Oh yes. Nagging will not get you no where. I realized, the more one nags, the more the other person ignores the requests. ‘Put this here’ , ‘no! not there!’, ‘why did you put that there?’, becomes blah! blah! blah..to the other person (usually the husband) so, instead of the usual nagging & blackmailing, I just do it quietly & hope that one glorious day, the hubby follows suit.

As you face your fears and insecurities, you will find out what you’re really made of.

My greatest fear is being cheated on. In my mind – if the guy cheats automatically he’s out of my life. No explanation needed. That’s why I keep tabs on my hubby’s friends & co-workers. If he goes out with friends, there should be no woman there! I even call him through video call and ask to see who’s he with! (imagine?)

I know.I know that’s not good, but I can’t help it. I’m still struggling with this issue. I’ll work on this.

♥Vanessa♥

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. February 23, 2008 12:53 am

    Thanks for dropping by Vannie.. hope I could link you up 🙂

  2. February 23, 2008 4:13 am

    We share the same fear, I wouldn’t want to be cheated on. This is a great post Vannie.

    Happy weekend.

  3. February 23, 2008 10:35 pm

    hi vannie, thanks for dropping by my site. So you’re from cebu? i’m from davao, but went to college sa sugbo, i’m called with many nicknames too, baning, neneng, banot, vanvan. My college nick is banot, baning is higschool. Nice blog.

  4. February 25, 2008 7:54 am

    Hi Vannie! Ganda nga nung article na yun sa GH. Thanks for sharing.

    N!cE
    http://www.mommastuff.com
    http://www.nicemorning.net

  5. February 25, 2008 8:08 am

    hi banot ~ thanks for dropping by. i was born in davao 🙂 tc

    Hi nice ~ your welcome,pur,i liked it kaya i posted it. it’s so true naman kase.

  6. February 25, 2008 11:19 pm

    hey vannie, nice article! 😉

  7. January 5, 2009 4:01 pm

    Your site is great,it kind of follows along with our sight. We go into more of the details about what you write with real situations.

    check it out
    http://www.themarriagewars.com

    Keep up the good work!

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